Tuesday, 3 August 2010

Ooo, eck! It's the Crap Game Corner: Terminator 2 (NES)

James Cameron created one of the most excellent sci-fi/action movies of 1984: The Terminator. Starring Arnie as the Terminator, he pursued Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) and her protector Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) in an effort to change the future, by eliminating her so she cannot bear the saviour of mankind, John Connor.The movie was so excellent, he made another one: T2 Judgment Day in 1991. More of the same, it was a great, if not better, movie than it's predecessor. And, ultimately, games were made. Some were great (Game Boy T2, Amiga T2), and some were so awful, so flawed, so shockingly shit-tastic, that it leaves a bad taste in my mouth just thinking of them. Yes, I'm  talking about the NES and Master System version of the same game, but more extensivly, we are going to poke fun and laugh at the NES incarnation.

Starting off outside the bar from the start of the movie, you control Arnie as the T-800, and have to make it inside the bar. Now, being a Terminator (supposedly a near indestructable cyborg, but we'll get back to that in a bit), you'd think that he could kill people with just a flick of his little finger, wouldn't you?
He's punch is as powerful as a strong coffee. He makes The weakest man in the world look like Geoff Capes.    His power is so lacking, it's inexcusable. He's supposed to be made of metal, not tin foil! When you get shot at, your power goes down at an alarming rate. Skynet must have used Asda Smart Price Titanium (guarenteed to contain 1% Titanium & 99% Goose Fat), because as soon as you start, you're inundated with bad guys with said guns. So, chances are you won't even get into the bar. And, if by chance you CAN get into the bar, more awful combat shenanigans await you. Basically, more of the same: fight 6 at a time, get your energy sapped, lose life, start again. Well, at least the graphics are nice. The sound is ok at best, but the really awful controls add to the dismal gameplay and dodgy (more dodgy than Del-Boy) collision detection.

Well, at least it has a good intro. Shame the game is total bollocks.
This has all the playability of.....well.....something that has no playablility (like Chameleon Twist 2.....but thats for another feature!).
Oh, the awfulness! Terminator? More like Terminated!!


  1. Ah, the torture continues!

    It's criminal to see such a good license go to waste. At least the Mega Drive Operation Wolf style T2 game was the nuts. I remember having a bucket of fun with that.

  2. I loved the T2 Arcade Game. And, as I said, the Amiga T2 game was miles better than this as well ( even if that was unfair too!)

  3. The film doesn't really suit the nes they shouldn't have bothered in the first place.

  4. I had this one once but I only played it once I think :P

  5. Once is enough. Mind you, if you think this version is bad, the same version came out on the Mega Drive (it too was shit)