Saturday, 10 September 2011

Third Cousin Twice Removed of Crap Game Corner - Murder! (ZX Spectrum, Central Solutions)

You are staying at a hotel, and one of the guests has been murdered. You only have a limited amount of time before the police arrive to solve the murder yourself. Everybody in the hotel is a suspect. Can you clear your name before before the keystone cops arrive?

Sounds good, doesn't it? It did to me when I bought it, as I thought it was a platform game. Imagine my horror when it turned out to be a .......*shudder* TEXT ADVENTURE!! Now, I can't stand text adventures. One of the reasons is the very small list of words you can use. In this game, the list is even smaller. You might as well just type 'bollocks' for every turn. One of the things you have to do is eat, otherwise you starve to death, which does add a bit of suspense to the game, but that doesn't make it any better. So, you go to the kitchen, and see a sandwich, upon which you'd type in something like 'eat sandwich', whereupon your caracter whould eat it, right? Wrong. You get a response 'I dont know how to do that'. WHAT??? You have to be joking me. Really? I even tried 'consume sandwich'. 'Pick up sandwich' works, but you still can't eat it, and thus die of hunger. Wow, what a great game (I don't bloody well think so!). So, no matter what you do, you still die.

So, how it plays is a load of arse. There's no graphics, just text. Lots and lots of text. No sound either. The game is just utter cobblers. Same as the other games by Central Solutions: Father of Darkness, Desperado and Curse of the Shaleth. All use the same small vocabulary and all are crap. Some people like text adventures. Me? These games make me want to gauge out my eyes and feed them to pigs.

Burn them at the stake!!!!

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