F**k Me! It's Crap Game Corner!: The Evil Dead (ZX Spectrum, 1984)

The cover from the C64 version. Best thing about the game, really.

You've watched the movie, you've worn the t-shirt (probably), you've worn the badge (probably not), now, from Palace Software, creators of the rather excellent Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior, comes a game so terrifying, you'll shit yourself. At least, thats what we're meant to believe. You see, the subject matter was based on Sam Raimi's cult horror flick, which was banned for years because of it's graphic content of violence (eyes being poked in, and pencils being rammed into peoples ankles) and some disturbing scenes (a woman being, erm, porked by a tree, anyone?), it was finally allowed on video in the mid 90's, but was heavily cut and made absolutely no bloody sense at all. So, along comes DVD, and the movie in it's uncut form (hooray!). I loved the film so much, it made me want to try the game from 1984. Now, I wish I hadn't. So, open the Necronomicon, play the tape recorder, and load your shotgun, as this is gonna be a long night.

Even this looks crap.

The game is viewed from above, and it's your job to close all the doors and windows to stop the Evil from entering the cabin you're trapped in and, eventually must pick up The Book of the Dead and destroy it to complete the game. You can pick up the trademark chainsaw and shotgun, with which to blast away at the evil little bastards. And, if you have Currah Speech enabled, you get a rather distorted 'JOIN US' blurted to you. But how does the game look? Being this was made in 1984, it's ok. It's rather sparse with the detail, and simplistic, but they do their job. Just about, anyway.

I thought the cabin was supposed to be made out of wood?

The gameplay is where the game falls flat on its arse, but not in a comedic way. More a sort of drunken stumble. Theres only so much of closing windows and doors and shooting possessed friends you can do before you feel like doing something else. Like watching Emmerdale. Or, *shudder*, The Only Way Is Essex whilst tied to a chair with Jordan (and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy).

No, it's not as bad as Predator, but it's certainly a load of old bollocks. So much so, it wasn't even sold on the Spectrum, but given away with Cauldron on side B instead. But, I'd still feel cheated.