Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Crap Game Corner Wises Fwom the Gwave!: Flash Gordon (Spec, Ams, C64 - Mastertronic)

This is a game sooooo crud, that I can't remember what it is (runs off to look at the title!)...

.....a considerable amount of time later......

(runs back out of breath).....right...(pant)....I've remembered.....(puff!) it! I bought it on a whim, from somewhere (I swear the person is still laughing at me). And to think I went by the name as well. The film might be campy fun, but this is isn't either fun or campy.
Well, at least this is really good. Shame the game doesn't follow suit.

It's Flash (ahhhhhhhh!) Gordon ('s alive?). I'm doing this for your benefit, so you don't make the same (wrong) decision I did.

The title screen is great, with the Flash Gordon logo prominent at the top of the screen, and both Flash & Ming's mugs on the screen. It's really colourful, and easy on the eye. The ingame graphics are alright, just that Flash doesn't look like Flash at all, but rather like a motorcyclist with his crash hat on, who's looking for his chopper (ooo, er!). The game is really (and I think) unfairly hard. To move about, it is vital that you make a map, as navigating is like going into a supermarket and getting lost in the lingerie section (it's Ireland's biggest, I understand!), though there's no bra's or knickers in sight (unfortunately!). When you get past that stage, the next one is a 3d bike-a-thon, if you get that far. Which I didn't. As I couldn't even get out the bloody maze-like jungle part. And by that time, I was bored. So bored, that I would rather play Predator (I hate it that much!).
The map at the bottom is completely useless. Make your own (if you can be bothered)

Control-wise, Flash moves with all the grace of a dead snail. So, when you come into contact with the evil-do-ers, you'll lose time (within which you have to save the Earth), which you will do constantly. And thats the game's punishing factor. Because you have limited bullets (which you have to find scattered thoughout your journey), one wrong press, and you'll lose the whole lot.
Action packed, explosive, fun filled. Shows that inlays can be deceiving!

Yes, I hate it. It sits on the 'Hated Shelf', along with NES T2, NES Dragon's Lair, and the rest of the other lots of cobblers that I can't stand (Predator has it's own case, as not to contaminate the rest of my games. I would burn it, but it would be a waste of a match), never to be played, touched, seen, or spoke of again.

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