Crap Game Corner Strikes Back!: Night Breed The Action Game (Amiga)

See, this looks pretty cool. Shame the game plays like a dog.

Clive Barker has written some of the most well known horror novels and movies going: Hellraiser, Sacrament, Everville, and has even written a couple of video games: Jericho and Undying. But, his earliest came in the form of a book called Cabal (not, not the into the screen shooter from TAD Corp.), about a secret city underneath a graveyard called Midian, and the weird creatures that inhabit it. Enter a character called Boone, who is the main character, and has discovered he is one of the weird creatures, but is a human too. He has to save Midian from Humankind and so teams up with the monsters who inhabit the city. It was made into a movie in 1990. So, Ocean (being Ocean) decided to make a game of it (well I never!). Not one, oh no. They decided to make two. One was an Interactive Movie (and was crap), and one was an action game (and was crap). The one I've played the most (unfortunately) was the action game. Sigh. Here we go again (I hope you're all sodding happy!)

The idea is sound. You play Boone, who has to go through the graveyard to find two of three keys (the third being in possession of a being called MASK, and not from the tv show of the same name, either!) and reach Midian, all the while avoiding what look like Nazis from the second world war, who brandish flame throwers and machine guns, as you have been framed for recent murders. Upon reaching the city, you then have to guard the city from said bad guys (the Sons of the Free, and the Berserkers) and your shrink (who got killed and then brought back by the magic of Midian who I think is MASK. Confused? I certainly am! So much so, my head hurts just thinking of it!).
Certainly sounds like a convoluted plot, but sounds pretty damned cool. How can Ocean possibly stuff this up? Very easily. It's definitely better than the atrocity that was the Interactive Movie, but it's still shit. Graphically, it's good. Sound-wise, it's ok. Gameplay-wise......huge facepalm!! The worlds biggest facepalm!!! It's fu*king awful! It plays like roadkill. It's really hard to punch anyone and so, after about 3 minutes, your dead. You have to walk into, and out of, the screen when you approach a doorway, so you can get to differing parts of the graveyard (presumably to bury this bloody game). If you can't guess, I hate this fu#king game. It's a case of 'Graphics do not a great game make' (said Master Yoda). And to think this was meant to have been part of a trilogy!! Good god, I'm glad this bombed, as I'm shit-scared of how the third one would have turned out (probably a puzzle game with fluffy bunnies and rays of sunshine).

I just wish it played as good as it looks...

...mind you, the front cover is also cool.

After excellent movie tie-ins on Batman, Robocop, The Untouchables and Lethal Weapon, they released this. THIS......turd. And it's not even a polished one. It plays more rough than an ugly bird who's pissed on a saturday night. And thats not a good thing.